Week 5

Howdy, welcome to Fort Wilderness.

My least favorite movie genre has become situational irony, the contrast between what was expected and what really happens profound. The majority of my week is spent in costume riding horses and lassoing children that have strayed away from their parents. Ok, not really, but it would make the time pass ever more quickly. Instead I am assigned the frightful duty of being the very first impression of Disney that a guest perceives. I must tell you that the choice you make at the beginning of the day to be mad at the world or to be contented is no longer a choice for me. I imagine what it would be like to arrive at work choleric every day. However, it seems I have developed the good habit of remaining positive, even under the most pressing circumstances on the days that I wish someone would reach inside and rip out my soul. This is probably one of the better habits I have developed.

Let me tell you about my apartment.

A wall of ice greets you as you enter, the humidity of the outdoor air unwelcome inside. The overall cosmetics do nothing to justify the actual condition of the place. Recessed lighting is randomly strewn across the ceiling, introducing this anarchic setup. That acrid stench has no known origin and comes and goes extemporaneously. The windows fog and drip with condensation leaving me blind to what lies outside. Many of the appliances serve a purpose better than the one for which they were intended, be that a less useful purpose. The counters are splotched with unidentifiable liquids and solids, the aftermath of experimental cooking and carelessness. Walking barefoot in the kitchen will do little more than coat your feet with toast crumbs, a horrific feeling. Responsibility can be rationed just as easily as food, but there exists no mutual agreement upon what the standard of cleanliness is so this responsibility may as well be unassigned. As a result of this environment I have decided that it should be required by law that every individual live completely alone for a specific amount of time to help create a much needed awareness of household cleanliness. If only, right?

There are times when it seems that only the intervention of an angel can change the disposition of a situation. 

The last week has been interesting, to say the least. The stories I could tell you  blur the line between comedic and appalling leaving me unsure of whether I should laugh or deracinate every hair on my head. I won't tell such things here because I am trying to purge the very thought of it all. This angelic intervention of which I speak could not have had a more perfectly placed arrival. In the midst of chaos she cloaks the negative energy with her comely laugh, her pearl teeth and silken hair the very essence of her being. With a gaze that could take the life of any man in peripheral view she meets my eyes and says, "It's so good to see you." I befriended her upon my arrival in Florida, nearly as quickly as she departed this place to pursue more advantageous things. Her spontaneous arrival and visit leave me feeling enthralled. There is nothing better than a rendezvous between friends, and many of us shared just that. I know you will read this, so just know that we love you to death and that you have forever secured a place to come if you need to get away or just want to visit. 

As angels arrive, so they must depart.

-D

Week 4

The doctor stands before me, his hands messy from the snack he just finished eating and his posture suggestive of an anxiousness to get home. These behaviors do little to assure me that his apathy will not impede upon his diagnosis of my current condition. 

Without transportation it is difficult to get anywhere, let alone find a walk-in medical clinic. The bus takes me to the general area of where I need to go, but I still have to walk myself, stomach pangs and all, half a mile down the road. This does little to justify the situation because I am immediately sent to the hospital where blood work can be done, because abdominal pain is slightly more serious. At least I got to take my very first taxi ride.

This brings me back to where I started. 

The needle gores my arm, sliding into the most appetizing looking vein. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling full-aware of the sterility that suffocates me in this hospital bed. I imagine the blood seeping from my arm like a high-pressured hose spattering everything in sight. I look down and find it gently dripping out, my horrific, creative thought destroyed. The blood has been drawn and now it is time to hook up an IV. The administering of this intravenous drip has left me feeling quite hysterical. It's not because of what is being put into my body but rather because of the situation in which I find myself. One moment I'm shooting billiards and the next moment I have a saline drip with a pepcid cocktail rushing through my veins. It made me laugh, which probably concerned the doctors even more.

So I have inflammation of the stomach. No alcohol, caffeine, spicy foods or smoking. Sounds healthy to me. Regardless, this was definitely the most interesting part of my week.

Work is slow, the guests minimal and the campground vacancy extreme. It should pick up again this weekend. I get awfully tired of just standing around waiting to assist someone. At Disney you assist, not help. Helping implies that they have a problem or perhaps a handicap that is hindering them from whatever it is that they are inquiring about. I guess this could be true, but hopefully the managers don't sick you like dogs if you jumble up your words a bit.

I am working a lot this week. In fact this is my busiest week since the week that I trained for this position. But like I said, busy doesn't always mean truly busy. It means "on the clock." At least I start late today.

Oh, I lost my ID card, the golden ticket to the private residence in which I live and the never-expiring bus pass around Disney property. $50 to replace. Not very pleased! I guess that's how it goes.

I have no pictures this week, sorry!

-D

Week 3

I once heard that neglecting to change the sheets on your bed can lead to illness. Nobody really knows how dirty beds are until they see commercials that provide microscopic close-ups of bed bugs and other anomalies that you probably wouldn't want to share the sheets with. So, I changed my bed sheets this morning. Unfortunately it seems that I have my first cold of the season so my actions were not as preventative as they were adaptive. It seems that it is possible to "play" too hard, pushing your body until the adrenaline ceases to exist. One night with little sleep followed by a surfeit of theme park rides will do this to you. 

That leads me to the highlight of this week: Universal Studios. My legs bounce with endless anxiety as I board my second roller coaster ever, and my first outdoor coaster. Even though it is only 9 a.m. my internal clock has not acknowledged the minimal sleep I got the night before, making it feel as though bedtime should still be right around the corner. The coaster inches skywards through a tunnel, blue sky leaking through at the opposite end. There is nothing quite as thrilling as being shot at high speeds towards the sky and then realizing you're upside down. And try as you might not to scream, but it seems that even screaming is more instinctive than I had previously thought. It is over before you know it and your throbbing head is a sure sign that what you just experienced is far from what your body could have anticipated.

Universal Studios is one of Disney's biggest rivals, but being there felt nothing like treason. It is clear that each company appeals to a different demographic. If you hadn't heard already Disney recently acquired Marvel, a company well-known for its comics. Universal Studios has the rights to many theme park rides that are based on Marvel characters, i.e. Spiderman, The Hulk. It will be interesting to see what develops in the next few years over here. Disney has endless room for expansion here, so perhaps we will be seeing another theme park that is more adult-oriented? I can't imagine there is anything that Disney's pocket isn't deep enough for.

On another note, tomorrow is the day that I hit an important milestone in life: 21. The importance isn't rooted in the fact that I will legally be able to purchase and consume alcohol... Alright, maybe that's part of it, but think about it for just a second. The age with the most emphasis placed on celebration that succeeds "21" is probably "over the hill," or 40. Between now and then your birthday is just another day. At least that's what they say. Every adult seems to veil the need for celebration and excitement on their birthday. What a horrible way to go. I hope I never find myself thinking that. Even if it means throwing myself a party, life has far too little time to celebrate and have a good time. 

I am blessed to have such incredible friends here. Tonight I have the privilege of bringing in my 21st with some bombshells. Wait, did I really just say that? Yes, yes I did. Looking forward to it, as well as tomorrow, whatever it holds.

-D

Week 2

Time is relative. And without delving into a debate about physics and the space time continuum, let me tell you what I mean. 

For something to be relative it must be in relation or in proportion to something else. Let me take it a step further and say that more importantly than time itself is how that time is spent. How we spend our time is relative, because it may be more or less productive than the infinite number of alternatives. Bearing this in mind, I have been very careful with my time and how it is spent, thus creating the illusion that I have spent the last two weeks in a time vacuum. 

Still, I am unable to tell you what I have done here. Seriously. I feel like I would only be teasing if I included what could be considered the "highlights." But here I encounter another problem, because everything has been memorable. Let me tell you about the water parks. 

There is a reason that water parks are better than theme parks. The sole reason is this: shorter lines, less waiting time. Sure, that season may be fading away, but if you want to experience attractions multiple times then you must visit the water parks at Disneyworld. I have yet to conquer what is known as Summit Plummet, a high-speed, steep-angled water slide that I hear will leave your undergarments stuffed so far between your cheeks, and not the ones on your face, that you will be begging for mercy by the time you are done. My roommate and I have scheduled that feat for next week, so I'll be sure to let you know how it feels. 

My work schedule is spontaneous, inconsistent, and requires me to wake up at... What's that? 4 am? Ok, that's only for one day, but even Mickey Mouse is getting more sleep than me and he doesn't say a single word all day! I am still in the midst of training and the process is tedious. Frustrating is probably a better word. Or maybe annoying. I haven't decided yet, but all three fit the bill at any given time of any day. Learning the ins and outs of any job can be stressful at first, but I am confident that it will be no different than any other position I've held once I've been at it for a few weeks. I won't lie though, there is an excessive need for attention to detail here, and the details are many. If you miss a detail, don't worry, you're going to miss another soon... 

Understand that this is merely a glimpse of what is happening here. If you want to know more about what I am doing, please call me or send me an e-mail. I am very pressed for time but would love to talk to you, whoever you are... Friends and family I hope!

Again, not as long as I intended. Will be waking up in five hours, wish me luck.

Until next time,

-D