Week 7

With too much time to think I find myself all but thinking. An idle mind is a terrible thing, and mine has slipped into a lethargic state. Proof of this may be evident in the fact that I am currently discussing it. It would be a different situation entirely if this were writer's block, but unfortunately, even outside of this text, there isn't much happening. I have thus decided to blame it on work. Countless hours are logged, all of them in the evening, making it impossible to make plans for the day. I can think of few things worse than the feeling of knowing you must be at work just as the afternoon is coming to a close and normal employees have just begun their commute home, eager for dinner, something that you won't be able to enjoy for several more hours. Each day begins and ends the same. This cycle is beyond vicious, taking not only a mental toll, but a physical one as well. Excessive repetition of this is borderline abusive leaving me to wonder if it's all worth it. 

I have begun realizing that without change, I cannot be happy. While some don't welcome it, I have to be honest when I say that I absolutely need it. With change comes the unknown, and with the unknown comes adventure. And with adventure comes every feeling that is desired at the very core of man: fear, excitement and uncertainty. I want to travel, experience the multitude of cultures that make up our world. I want to skydive, rock climb, snowboard, and maybe even go streaking down a crowded street. "Frank the Tank!," they'll scream. Okay, so maybe it won't be exactly like Old School, but the spontaneity and degree of inappropriateness that go along with it are pretty accurate descriptors of what I'm looking for. 

Things happen quickly here. Forming relationships, trying new things, and sometimes even my day at work. I attribute this to an underlying awareness of the temporary state in which I am currently living. This underlying notion perhaps speeds up the process of things that normally take noticeable time to develop. As a result, people have already come and gone from my life, relationships have formed and been defined, and new experiences are an incessant occurrence. When I think of words that identify this current state I think of these: efficient, resourceful, practical. Being able to constantly move forward leaves little time for pithy and unwanted things. Why get caught up on something or someone when the next best thing is just around the corner? For too many years I have been caught up on the contrasting idea, giving into stagnation and being stuck for weeks on end. This way of living does little to improve one's quality of life. If you feel unappreciated by someone, stop wasting your time. They aren't worth your time and energy.

-Derek